What Is A Soul Mate And Do We All Have One?

When we hear the words ‘soul mate couple’, we always think of an intense, passionate whirlwind romance like the one of Romeo and Juliet. This and many other similar love stories give us hope that one day we will experience such a magical love story. But in reality we face with romances that seem to be just a pale imitation of all these great romances that we see on the movies.

While some people have had a string of exes, some are with one person their whole life and other never had a relationship, ever. So what is going on with this whole soul mate thing? And why so many people end up with partners who are not “ideal” for them?


All the movies, books and idealism have made the people misunderstand the meaning of ‘soul mate’. For instance, before you continue reading this article, pause for a minute and try to define the word “soul mate”. What does it mean for you?

Most people would say that soul mates are people who are always by your side, and will stay in your life forever, no matter what. People also idealize them as people who fulfill your life, your hopes and your dreams and make your life seem better than it was before you met them. However, this is just partly true.

Here is the real definition of soul mate:

  • Your best friends are your soul mates. They are also called soul friends, and can be both sexual and romantic partners.
  • Soul mates are your reflection. You see yourself through them; all your dreams, hopes, insecurities and flaws are reflected back like a mirror. You can completely rely on them and be honest in front of them and in front of yourself too.
  • Soul mates are your spiritual catalysts. They help you to become a better person, but never complete you. Because you are already a complete person deep down in yourself and they just help you to realize that.
  • Soul mates are your close friends and teachers. Sometimes they tech you some lessons intentionally, but most often they teach you all those lessons unintentionally. Since they know you so well, soul mates can become very close friends, being there for you when you need them the most and inspiring you to become the best version of yourself.
  • You know your soul mates from the start. This is so because you’ve probably spent many past lives together. Sometimes it appears that they even know you better than you know yourself.
  • Soul mates are on the same frequency as you. This means that despite the same goals, likes and tastes, soul mates also share your deepest life dreams, values and beliefs.
  • The love you receive from your soul mates is unconditional. You love them unconditionally too. Even though soul mates not always stay together, still, it is simply impossible to feel negative emotions towards them, no matter what they do, you still love them and they still love you.
  • Soul mates are not ideal. After all, they are human beings just like you and it’s quite normal to possess some bad habits.
  • Sometimes you can’t recognize them immediately. Even though love on first sight really exists, still this is not the only way to find out who your soul mate is. Soul mates can often come in many “disguises” in our lives.
  • Sometimes soul mates leave from your life. Many people believe that soul mates stay in your life forever, but this is not true. Although we like the first version more, if we understand this we will understand a lot of things in our life. Soul mates are here to teach us some lessons and some of them disappear the moment they complete their mission. So sometimes they are here only temporarily and other times they are here for a lifetime. Enjoy the ride, no matter the case.
  • It’s very likely to encounter with multiple soul mates throughout your life. Although it’s not the case with me, I know some people who claim that they have experienced a few profound relationships in their life.


This is a hard question to answer since it depends on the maturity of your soul. Is it possible for a materialistic, self-hating person with fear-driven perceptions of the world to find his/her soul mate?

It’s almost impossible. If you are expected to give some love, you need to possess a certain amount of self-love in the first place.

In my personal opinion every single person on this planet, meets at least one soul mate in their life. But if you want to attract a soul mate in your life, you have to work a little on your own soul. It’s not possible to meet your soul mate without discovering who you really are deep down in your soul. Unless you do this, you are doomed to wander in the dark.

This is the main reason why so many people cannot find “the true love” of their life, because they lack self-love, self-understanding and self-knowledge. There are so many people who believe that one day they will find a person, who will complete them, but the truth is – everything lies within us. Soul mates just open our hearts and help us realize this.

So the real answer to the question would be: we all have the chance to meet our soul mates, but not all people have the capacity to really experience it. So if someone doesn’t understand his own soul, how can they understand what a soul mate is? And is it possible for them to feel the unconditional love given by a soul mate if they hate themselves and other people around them?

Obviously, you don’t have to be perfect to discover you soul mate, but still you have to go through some process of spiritual evolution. Our reality is determined by our mindsets and our values.


You may or may not be able to discover tour soul mate right now. But if you are confident enough that you possess the capacity needed to meet your soul – keep holding on that confidence. There is always a reason why we need to wait for something, and all those things are worth waiting. On the other hand, if you feel as if you are not ready to find your soul mate yet, don’t worry. As I already mentioned, your soul can become mature by developing self-love, self-understanding and self-acceptance. This will bring you a lot of existing possibilities in your life.

At the end, don’t ignore the fact that it is possible that you have already met your soul mate! I know some people who were completely unaware for years that they have already met their “true love”. Unfortunately, they kept searching for unrealistic ideals and couldn’t see the beauty of what they really had. So you have to be widely aware of the people you are surrounded with, because maybe your soul mate is right in front of you!

I suggest sharing with me your personal experience of meeting or not meeting your soul mate. Do you have some advises or suggestions of your own?