It’s not uncommon to grow up with parents who just don’t stay together. Whether you’re a child growing up in a small town or a kid roaming the streets of the big city, you’re not alone when you think your entire world is falling apart because your parents have decided to go their separate ways. One minute you’re sitting at the dinner table with mom and dad discussing their work day, talking about how much they couldn’t wait to come home to each other – and the next, they’re barely speaking over Thanksgiving turkey.
Divorce sucks. It’s hard, long and emotionally draining. It shows children at a young age that love can be dispensable and not every “forever” truly means forever. It gives us the thought process that things are temporary in life and even if you work incredibly hard at something, it doesn’t always stick around. Children who grow up in divorced homes are unique, special and often times, vulnerable. They don’t love like everyone else, they don’t see the world through the same rose-colored lenses most people do and they certainly don’t look on the bright side all of the time.
We’re Often Cynical About Love:
When you watch your parents – the two people who brought you into the world – fall apart before your eyes, it’s almost impossible for us to feel optimistic about being in love with someone. When we do approach love, we do it cautiously and with our guards up. We’re scared that if we love too much, get too comfortable, the situation will fall apart before our very eyes – just like mom and dad.
We Question Things A lot:
We need answers, sometimes too often. We want to know from the get-go that the relationship is going somewhere – or anywhere at all. We’re scared to waste our time on things that won’t last or have an expiration date. Because of this, we tend to ask more questions than most people can handle. We are the type to love you – and love you hard – but we need some security in knowing you feel the same.
We Take Time To Do Things:
People who come from divorced homes aren’t ones to rush things. We may feel like we love you, but you can think again if we’re going to say it first. We wait until we’re sure of everything before we let ourselves be open and vulnerable to being hurt.
4. We Hurt Very Easily:
While we may hesitate on things, we also take things personally. We’re not ones to think lightly about situations and when things go south, we usually blame ourselves. It’s like that classic story where the young kid naively blames himself for his parent’s divorce. We tend to look at things through a very narrow lens, dissecting all the things said and all the things done. Tread lightly with us, we’re a little sensitive.
Arguments Are A Sore Spot For Us:
When fights break out, we tend to flinch a bit. We grew up with bad words and bad vibes all around us – it takes us back to a pretty dark and troubling time in our youth. When things get a bit loud and argumentative, we retreat more than we want to combat.
We Expect A Lot From Our Significant Other:
We aren’t the kind of people who settle easily, we tend to stay solo until we find that right person. When we do, we expect them to step up to the plate. We know that no one is absolutely perfect – because shit, we have a ton of baggage – but we do expect our partner to deliver. We don’t need someone who we can’t trust, we question or someone who makes us uneasy.