What occurs after the break-up with a narcissist?
When you say the final farewell to a narcissist, you must prepare yourself to take an emotional and crazy ride. It is not a simple task at all.
You probably have already read about this in other sources of information such as: articles and magazines or you might have even consulted a therapist. All of them have probably agreed in one accord that the best game-plan is to cut all the ties immediately.
This action must be followed by consequences. The narcissist is depended on the self-image support they get from you, and similarly to an addict with his heroin, if you stop their supply they will start to experience the “withdrawal” symptoms.
They’ll instantly begin searching for the next fix, so they’ll take one of the following two ways: they will leave without thinking of all the suffering and pain they’ve caused or they’ll return without hesitation and do their best to get you back. They cannot deal with loneliness and somebody must be around to prove the validity of their feelings.
Narcissists see the break up as a threat
If you hold to the plan to say goodbye forever, the narcissist will immediately see this as a threat. Similarly to an injured animal, they’ll lash out by doing something reckless.
They’ll act like nobody in this world is better than them and they would go as far as blackmailing you with suicidal threats and even harming themselves if nothing from the previous works out.
The narcissist will continue returning even if there is the tiniest chance of fixing the situation or they might even think that they have a chance only because you react to their actions.
You have to realize that the narcissist is widely aware that they’ve hurt you so many times. But they clearly care only about themselves and their own needs. Even if they get the smallest reaction from you, they’ll be back begging you to come back, so be very cautious.
Narcissists are incredibly patient
If a narcissist feels that there is still a chance for you two, they can wait forever and a day. They’ll hope to it till the first opportunity appears, and before you even blink they’ll stand in front of you without any explanation or apology.
They might have been with someone else between while, but the moment it is over, they’ll come back to you for the feeling they get knowing they have taken control over someone. Your action of leaving will shake them to an extent they’ll perform any trick they come up with in order to capture your heart again.
But if the narcissist becomes aware of the fact that you’ve discovered the game they play, they’ll start avoiding you just to prevent you from revealing their true face to others. It’s very likely that they’ll stop contacting you and they’ll quickly turn on their radar and search for the new victim.
Prepare yourself for a long struggle because of your decision to break up. They won’t like the effect it has on their social standing and that now they’ll have to put so much effort in finding someone else who can replace you. They’ll suddenly start pretending to have changed and act as if they have changed. They’ll continue coming back with the excuse “just to talk” but what they really do is manipulation with only one aim: you falling for them again.
The narcissist will try to recover from the break up only by talking about the advantages of getting back together. This always happens when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Even if they go away, they will quickly return again. If they hurt you, they’ll say sorry and give their best to make you stay just to hurt you again. They know how to take an advantage from love and kindness. The whole action of making you suffer, then getting you back becomes a game he is addicted to and they’ll need to continue doing it just to fulfill their desire. As we already said, Even if they get the smallest reaction from you, they’ll be back begging you to stay with them, so stay away from him and stop feeding the addiction.
Don’t forget that you are the drug
It doesn’t matter whether you are in a long relationship or you are together just a few month, the narcissist will control everything you do. You may not be satisfied and try to draw lines, but this is in vain, they’ll violate any rule and then beg for your forgiveness. You probably believe that they continue coming back because they love you. But that’s rarely the case and he only uses you like a way to feed the addiction.
After the break up, they’ll make sure that the cycle continues: destroying you and then building you up just to destroy you again. So if you notice that this scenario repeats again and again, run away as quickly as possible.
The first few days of your forgiveness they’ll behave as if they’ve really changed but as soon as you relax, they’ll show their real face again.
Prepare mentally for the crazy ride after you decide to break up with them. Staying strong is the only solution to this problem. In that way, sooner or later, they’ll decide to give up and start searching for the next victim.
Always remember that you deserve to be love and a narcissist is not able to provide love for other because in their heart there is only the love for themselves. They don’t deserve even a minute of your suffering.