Dealing with a verbally aggressive person can instantly make you feel self-protective, which is a perfectly normal response, but in this article we offer you 7 more suitable, harmonious and mindful ways to respond.
7 WAYS TO DEAL WITH VERBALLY AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE
Verbally aggressive people usually address to you with an aggressive tone that feels like real attack to you. They usually have little or no reason for this. Fundamentally, these people are grown up bullies and you don’t have to put up with this type of behavior.
When people are verbally aggressive they can easily become physically aggressive too, and that’s something nobody wants to experience. Scientists who studied the topic of domestic violence have discovered that it is very likely that verbal aggression turns into physical violence.
If you know someone who is or has been verbally aggressive to you, don’t hesitate to react immediately. These types of situations very often lead to workplace or domestic violence.
HERE IS HOW YOU SHOULD DEAL WITH POTENTIALLY VIOLENT SITUATION
TRY NOT TO RESPOND ANGRILY
Verbally aggressive people are almost unable to communicate in other way than with anger. If you also respond with anger you will make the already bad situation even worse.
DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
Verbally aggressive people have the need to hurt other people by using hurtful words. Try think in a way that their words don’t describe who you are but they show who they are instead. You can only choose your words but you can’t control theirs. So if you take these words personally you consciously allow them to hurt you.
CALM THEM DOWN
This method is scientifically proven and is already tested by psychiatric nurses who worked with non-physical methods. So if you don’t want the situation to escalate and if you want to calm down the verbally aggressive person you should do the following nine things:
- Try to specify the level of aggressiveness of the verbally aggressive person on a scale of 1-10.
- Try to understand why the person shows such an aggressive behavior.
- Connect with the verbally aggressive person.
- Discover what does the person needs in order to intervene and find a solution
- Since you’ve specified the level of aggressiveness, try to predict whether their behavior leads to something more serious like physical violence.
- If you believe that someone can get hurt immediately call for help
- Listen carefully to what the angry person is talking and try to rephrase his words so they can hear them back to them and confirm that you’ve understood them correctly.
- Try to adjust a calm voice and say that you understand why they are upset.
- Ask the verbally aggressive person if he has some idea of how you two should solve the problem or if some solution comes to your mind, offer that suggestion.
TAKE THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN EXPRESS THEIR EMOTIONS
As we already said, you can offer a solution or understanding but if you know that you’ve never done anything wrong don’t apologize. All that a verbally aggressive person needs is a place where they can express their emotions and a place where you will be able to listen carefully, empathize and find a perfect solution that is good for both of you.
LET THEM BE ALONE FOR A WHILE
Sensory overload can easily overwhelm and frustrate an aggressive person. When they find themselves in crowded places with the annoying sound of too much traffic and the irritating voice in their heads that constantly repeats how many obligations they have and how many decisions have to make, it all frustrates them on a huge level.
It happens to all of us, not just the aggressive persons to turn our stress into frustration and then the frustration into anger. So, by removing some of the sources of noise can calm down the aggressive person.
Bring them to some peaceful and quiet environment and let them calm down. Sometimes aggressive people don’t want to behave in that way, but it’s the panic and anxiety that lives within them which make them act like that.
DON’T BE SO SERIOUS
One of the best ways to respond to a verbally aggressive person is to make a joke, even if it is at your own expense. We are not saying to make fun of the aggressive person because that will make the situation worse. It has to be something sincere and something that will really make the person laugh.
SUGGEST WHERE THEY CAN SEARCH FOR HELP
Talk to the aggressive person; say that you sincerely want to help them not to feel that angry again in the future. You can offer your advices but it is the best for them to see a counselor. So if you know some counselor that can really help the, suggest where they can go.
Counseling resources are available like never before. They can use counseling apps, websites, phone and video talk etc. There are so many ways that you can help, they just need to be ready to accept that help.